Tennessee game

Someone told me if you're going to tell interesting stories from your past you need to tell the football game. I'll even use paragraphs :). Here it goes for those that haven't heard it. Some people cannot point to the lowest moment of their life. Mine is branded into my mind. It was a few years ago at a Tennessee/South Carolina football game. The game began at 7:30. We got there about 12:00. So, we had a few hours of pregame tailgating in a city I'm very fond of, Knoxville, Tennessee. 110,000 people on a sat. night in Neyland stadium is rockin. I'm there with a few friends of mine. I have some friends that liked the smokeless tobacco. I don't smoke, much less dip, so my nicotine tolerance is very low. I say to myself, "You know what let me put a dip in. I'm at a UT game and when in rome....be like Rocky Top." I had taken one years earlier while we were playing cards and my head just hit the table midway through the game. It made me so sick, but I was like, "I got this now."

Well, I'm good for about 10 minutes and then the stadium starts spinning. I look down and now see 3 runningbacks in the backfield. I immediately pull the substance out hoping that will end the pain, but the damage is done. I decide I need to sit down. I'm thinking just put your head down and relax for a few minutes and everything will be alright. At this point in the game, South Carolina has the ball and is driving. We are surrounded by a sea of orange, except for the three ladies in front of us who are gamecock fans through and through. South Carolina breaks off a big run and the three fans erupt with joy and high fives and are generally very loud about letting the Tennessee people know. They were obnoxious enough to make me stand up to see what was going on. This was a mistake. I stand up and before I can even react dinner came flowing from the depths of my stomach. It was like coming off a trampoline and I proceeded to unload all of my previous meal all over them.

The worst moment of my life came when I saw the ladies go from pure jubilation to the sudden realization that it's not raining....but something's coming down on us. I will never forget the look of pure horror in their eyes as they turned around to see their offender. To this day, I can't describe their faces to you, but I will never forget the curly haired brunette in front of me that caught the brunt of the force and had the particles just sitting on top. It was in all their hair and they stared at me in complete shock and awe. I just had a blank stare right back at them. In my mind I kept repeating, "This isn't real, this did not just happen." I look over at my 2 friends for help, but they are just rolling on the floor in laughter and pointing. I then hear a distant voice in the crowd that yells, "Watch out, he's puking." At this point I snap back to reality, and I'm like, "Uh-oh, I'm not dreaming", and take off for the bathroom. My friends tried to get me to go back, but I wasn't having it. I spent the rest of the game hanging out with the usher at the tunnel. They said, "The ladies left and the other people up there want to meet you." Apparently they liked me because I chased off the obnoxious opposing fans. I really feel bad about it now. If those ladies are out there somewhere, contact me and take your retribution. And Rocky Top, you will always be home sweet home to me.