Well, this is the speech for my sister's wedding:
As I was remarking earlier, you don't see this many friends and family this dressed up except for weddings and funerals, and sometimes a wedding can be a funeral. Not this one of course, haha. When my sister first called me to tell me she was getting married she asked for my thoughts on the subject. My response was to remember the words of our ancestor Charles Dickens, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." So, get ready for the ride, because it will be an exciting one no matter what.
When I first met Shaun, he said, "Yeah, the first 3 dates me and your sister went on we had run-ins with the police" My response, "Welcome to the family, this is my type of guy" (As an aside there run-ins were traffic tickets, so no one gets a bad idea of my brother-in-law :) ). Shaun reminds me a lot of my Dad, which is a good thing. I love my Pop and think he's an amazing man. I was telling my brother, Daniel, earlier that our apples fell a little further from the tree than our new brother. If I ever walk in and see a stern look on his face, arms raised high, and a furrowed brow with the expression, "Jesssssica!" then I'll know without a shadow of a doubt that the spirit of my father has officially been transferred. On a serious note, I think Shaun is an absolutely wonderful person. He has great qualities and I know he will make my sister very happy. I look forward to the years ahead getting to know him as our bond grows the way that only time will allow.
Sometimes I am surprised that my sister turned out as well as she did growing up with the brothers that she had. When we were younger, most of the time we forgot she was a girl. It was almost like the commercial that was on TV a couple years ago when a guy would come flying out of nowhere to tackle somebody. Jessica would be walking down the hall and one of us would just tackle her like a linebacker. The one thing that my sister learned was that she had the trump card, DAD. When we pushed her too far, she would sound the siren. It started in a low growl turning into a death defying scream. "DAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!" At this point me and my brother were like cockroaches when the lights turned on. We would look at each other like, "Hide" We would scurry off to somewhere and pretend like we had no knowledge of what was going on.
On a serious note, my sister is an absolute doll. Anyone who has met her has been touched in a positive way. She has amazing qualities. She is beautiful, strong, independent, smart, caring, giving, loving and funny. My family is different in the fact that for the past 11 years my family has been separated. My brother and I live on the east coast while the rest of our family resides in Colorado. We've only seen each other a couple times a year for the past 11 years. No matter how much time passes though the love is always there and is ready to be picked up right where we left off. I can still remember when she got on that plane 11 years ago and looked at me and said, "I don't want to go." I looked at her and said you're getting ready to embark on the greatest journey of your life. In Georgia you've always been known as Paul and Daniel's little sister. You're going to go out to Colorado and become whoever you want to be. They don't know us there. Each visit that I come out here I am so thankful that that statement has come true. She has become even more of the person that I hoped that she would be.
I love her with all my heart and am so thankful that she has found that person to share her life with. I know that through the yin and the yang of this relationship they will make beautiful memories. I look forward to the future that this wonderful couple will embark on and am thankful that they have found each other. I wish you both nothing but the best and believe that the love that you too share will truly inspire people. It is with great honor that I ask everyone to please join with me and celebrate Mr. and Mrs. Shaun Thomas.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Common Sense and Death
I didn't really know how to take this statement, "You're the dumbest, smart person I know. You're really smart, but sometimes you have no common sense." Death is a complicated subject. Most people don't have any idea how they will pass from this life. Not me. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I'm going out in some freak accident. "Man takes hanglider into side of mountain." "Man is attacked by ferocious oppussum." "Man slips on ice in kitchen and breaks his neck." All these are possibilities. I warn my friends and family, hopefully it will be somebody close that finds me. Please, please try to make the situation as socially acceptable as possible. If you find me with a "cincodepablo" shirt and bright orange cowboy hat please put me in a suit before the funeral. The reason death is on my mind is because of my near death experiences in life.
I can remember the first odd situation I found myself in was when I was younger and my brother tried to kill me. My brother is 16 months younger than me and as most sibling relationships go we were the best of friends and the worst of enemies as teenagers. One thing I was skilled at when I was younger was pushing buttons. We were in the kitchen when my brother picks up a butcher knife and begins to explain that he is about to kill me. I, of course didn't stop atognizing him until he began to move toward me with said knife. He then gave me the warning I can still remember, "I am about to stab you with this knife." At this point, I'm backing out the door because I see a little bit of crazy in his eyes like he might do it. I never learned though because as I'm running down the street with him chasing me, I yell, "I'll be back with the Ginsu collection. Be ready moron." His response, "That's fine. Come back and be ready to die." I'm sure the neighbors had questions, :). I love him now. He's one of my closest friends.
When I was fourteen years old I was home and was left in charge as the responsible party. We had a gas fireplace. It was a rather cold day, so I figured it was a good time to light a fire. I thought, "What do I need to do? Put the wood in. Turn on the gas. Light the fire." I begin innocently enough putting the wood in the fire, stacking it up nice. I then turned the gas on. Well, at this point I go to light the fire and can't find matches. I then begin to roam the house looking for matches. Finally after about 10 minutes I find them in a drawer. As I go to light the fire I begin to get excited. Warmth is on the way. What I was not expecting was the amount of warmth I received. I remember very vividly looking straight ahead as the giant ball of fire came blasting through me as I lit the fateful match into all that gas. It singed my hair, eyebrows, and the peach fuzz on my face. I immediately jumped up like, "Oh my God! I'm dead, there's no way I just lived through that." I go to the mirror and see this flushed red face, singed hair, burnt eyebrows and I'm like, "Wow, that was really cool." It didn't do any long term damage, and luckily my Aunt was right across the street and could fix me up with a haircut. Lesson learned, turn on gas and light at same time.
I would love to say that this part of my life is over, but I'm afraid it's still a burden to bear. I just got a new dryer and I needed to change the plug so it would fit my plug-in. I figure, "You know what, I should plug this cord in to make sure it works." I then go to stick said cord into the outlet only to be quickly reminded that it wasn't attached to any kind of machine. Apparently all the wires touching is not a good thing. As I pushed the dryer plug in, the energy shot down the wire and exploded out. Unfortunately my leg was right next to it. It burnt my leg and left a giant black mark on the wall. It also made a loud bang as it tripped every circuit breaker in my house. I could have played it off until someone came to my laundry room and she promptly asked, "Why is there a giant black mark on the wall?" It really sounds weird coming out of your mouth, "I plugged the dryer cord in before I attached it to the dryer."
I can remember the first odd situation I found myself in was when I was younger and my brother tried to kill me. My brother is 16 months younger than me and as most sibling relationships go we were the best of friends and the worst of enemies as teenagers. One thing I was skilled at when I was younger was pushing buttons. We were in the kitchen when my brother picks up a butcher knife and begins to explain that he is about to kill me. I, of course didn't stop atognizing him until he began to move toward me with said knife. He then gave me the warning I can still remember, "I am about to stab you with this knife." At this point, I'm backing out the door because I see a little bit of crazy in his eyes like he might do it. I never learned though because as I'm running down the street with him chasing me, I yell, "I'll be back with the Ginsu collection. Be ready moron." His response, "That's fine. Come back and be ready to die." I'm sure the neighbors had questions, :). I love him now. He's one of my closest friends.
When I was fourteen years old I was home and was left in charge as the responsible party. We had a gas fireplace. It was a rather cold day, so I figured it was a good time to light a fire. I thought, "What do I need to do? Put the wood in. Turn on the gas. Light the fire." I begin innocently enough putting the wood in the fire, stacking it up nice. I then turned the gas on. Well, at this point I go to light the fire and can't find matches. I then begin to roam the house looking for matches. Finally after about 10 minutes I find them in a drawer. As I go to light the fire I begin to get excited. Warmth is on the way. What I was not expecting was the amount of warmth I received. I remember very vividly looking straight ahead as the giant ball of fire came blasting through me as I lit the fateful match into all that gas. It singed my hair, eyebrows, and the peach fuzz on my face. I immediately jumped up like, "Oh my God! I'm dead, there's no way I just lived through that." I go to the mirror and see this flushed red face, singed hair, burnt eyebrows and I'm like, "Wow, that was really cool." It didn't do any long term damage, and luckily my Aunt was right across the street and could fix me up with a haircut. Lesson learned, turn on gas and light at same time.
I would love to say that this part of my life is over, but I'm afraid it's still a burden to bear. I just got a new dryer and I needed to change the plug so it would fit my plug-in. I figure, "You know what, I should plug this cord in to make sure it works." I then go to stick said cord into the outlet only to be quickly reminded that it wasn't attached to any kind of machine. Apparently all the wires touching is not a good thing. As I pushed the dryer plug in, the energy shot down the wire and exploded out. Unfortunately my leg was right next to it. It burnt my leg and left a giant black mark on the wall. It also made a loud bang as it tripped every circuit breaker in my house. I could have played it off until someone came to my laundry room and she promptly asked, "Why is there a giant black mark on the wall?" It really sounds weird coming out of your mouth, "I plugged the dryer cord in before I attached it to the dryer."
Personal Responsibility
I am not a sensitive person. I don't care what anyone does with their life as long as it doesn't harmfully affect another person. I really feel like personal responsibility is the biggest thing lacking in a lot of people. I've seen it in all walks of my life from coaching baseball to addictions to churches. The one thing they all have in common is "It's not my fault." Give me the person who steps up to the plate, takes control of their actions and the responsibility that comes with it.
My baseball team knows that I will never allow anyone to blame an umpire if we lose. Are there bad calls sometimes? Sure, but that's not why we lost. If we lose I always make them understand that we lose because of ourselves. I always ask them if the other team is just more talented than us. Of course at this point they always say, "NO!" I say, "Well, they won because they played better than we did." That's it, end of story. I say, "If you want to win, make a decision to come back the next game and play better than we did today. Work on getting better at our weaknesses. That's what's holding us back." Personal responsibility. It's our success or fault, whether we win or lose.
Most people know you will get no sympathy about addictions from me. I'm not a hard ass, I just can't help you....only you can do that. The people I've seen beat addictions are some of the best, strongest people I know. Addiction is probably what I work hardest in my life to avoid. The thought of not having a choice. The thought of being controlled by something is my biggest fear. Most people think smoking or drinking, but it can be anything. It is the simple act of not being in control, being forced to do something against your will. What I always say is that there are two options. A) Either quit doing what you don't want to do or B) Recognize that you don't want to quit and manage the situation. There's no real struggle in the decision and then it's just willpower. I have more respect for the smoker that smokes like a chimney and doesn't care what people think than the one saying, "I have to quit this.....exhale" If you wanna quit, quit. If not, smoke till the day you die, or eat, drink or do drugs. I don't care, it's your life. And maybe, just maybe you don't want to quit. Take responsibilty for your actions. It's nobody else's fault. If that's the case, then it's your choice. I've seen people blame their past or their situations with an attitude that, "This is just how it's going to be." I think change can happen at anytime, but it doesn't because most people don't want to change. My one true addiction in life is eating ice. I can have a cup of ice and chew it down like a horse eating an apple. Am I going to ever quit? No. I made a decision to manage the situation. When I'm at home I don't use ice. It's what I can live with, and I'm happy. That's kind of a lame example, but it can apply to anything. Like I said, either quit or manage your adddictions. I know one thing, I don't tell people I'm going to quit something unless I'm going to quit. Personal Responsibilty. It's our choice what we do with our life, and how we live it.
I know that religion is a sensitive topic. The reason is because no one can really prove what they believe and that's scary. I try not to insult people about religion, but I do have to admit how funny I think it is that people are so sensitive about their beliefs. It's like God's watching people laugh about religious theories and not happy. Oh, we can laugh at other religions, but ours is sacred. God has a sense of humor, that's why he made people. People are crazy. If someone told me all my beliefs and values were completely off course and ripped me a new one, I would just smile. It's an opinion, that's it, on my end and their end. I learned long ago that I can't prove what I believe...it's called faith. Good things and bad things are going to happen to you in life no matter what. That being said, the better off we are to others the better off we'll be. You can call it what you want to call it, but I believe in karma. You will reap what you sow in this life. I don't blame God for my problems and I don't sit around and wait for answers from God to tell me what to do. I make the best decision possible with the information I have on hand. If I screw up it's my fault. Before I undertake an action I think of the consequences. Personal Responsibility. God gave me a brain and it's my responsibility to live this life he created for me to the best of my ability.
At the end of the day, whatever situations we come from in life don't matter. At some point we can't blame our family, or our past or our situations. At some point, we have to set goals for our lives and think about the steps we need to take to accomplish them. The biggest thing I've learned is that when we live life on our own terms we are much happier. Outside forces are just bumpers on the road we travel, but we push the gas and steer the wheel. My goal is to take responsibility for myself in everything I do. I screw up sometimes, and sometimes I don't make the best decisions, but I dust myself off, learn from today and prepare for tomorrow. Sometimes I make good decisions and I take pride in that. What I've found is that if I attempt to sow love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, and self control that I will reap the same in return. Personal Responsibility. I'm in control!
My baseball team knows that I will never allow anyone to blame an umpire if we lose. Are there bad calls sometimes? Sure, but that's not why we lost. If we lose I always make them understand that we lose because of ourselves. I always ask them if the other team is just more talented than us. Of course at this point they always say, "NO!" I say, "Well, they won because they played better than we did." That's it, end of story. I say, "If you want to win, make a decision to come back the next game and play better than we did today. Work on getting better at our weaknesses. That's what's holding us back." Personal responsibility. It's our success or fault, whether we win or lose.
Most people know you will get no sympathy about addictions from me. I'm not a hard ass, I just can't help you....only you can do that. The people I've seen beat addictions are some of the best, strongest people I know. Addiction is probably what I work hardest in my life to avoid. The thought of not having a choice. The thought of being controlled by something is my biggest fear. Most people think smoking or drinking, but it can be anything. It is the simple act of not being in control, being forced to do something against your will. What I always say is that there are two options. A) Either quit doing what you don't want to do or B) Recognize that you don't want to quit and manage the situation. There's no real struggle in the decision and then it's just willpower. I have more respect for the smoker that smokes like a chimney and doesn't care what people think than the one saying, "I have to quit this.....exhale" If you wanna quit, quit. If not, smoke till the day you die, or eat, drink or do drugs. I don't care, it's your life. And maybe, just maybe you don't want to quit. Take responsibilty for your actions. It's nobody else's fault. If that's the case, then it's your choice. I've seen people blame their past or their situations with an attitude that, "This is just how it's going to be." I think change can happen at anytime, but it doesn't because most people don't want to change. My one true addiction in life is eating ice. I can have a cup of ice and chew it down like a horse eating an apple. Am I going to ever quit? No. I made a decision to manage the situation. When I'm at home I don't use ice. It's what I can live with, and I'm happy. That's kind of a lame example, but it can apply to anything. Like I said, either quit or manage your adddictions. I know one thing, I don't tell people I'm going to quit something unless I'm going to quit. Personal Responsibilty. It's our choice what we do with our life, and how we live it.
I know that religion is a sensitive topic. The reason is because no one can really prove what they believe and that's scary. I try not to insult people about religion, but I do have to admit how funny I think it is that people are so sensitive about their beliefs. It's like God's watching people laugh about religious theories and not happy. Oh, we can laugh at other religions, but ours is sacred. God has a sense of humor, that's why he made people. People are crazy. If someone told me all my beliefs and values were completely off course and ripped me a new one, I would just smile. It's an opinion, that's it, on my end and their end. I learned long ago that I can't prove what I believe...it's called faith. Good things and bad things are going to happen to you in life no matter what. That being said, the better off we are to others the better off we'll be. You can call it what you want to call it, but I believe in karma. You will reap what you sow in this life. I don't blame God for my problems and I don't sit around and wait for answers from God to tell me what to do. I make the best decision possible with the information I have on hand. If I screw up it's my fault. Before I undertake an action I think of the consequences. Personal Responsibility. God gave me a brain and it's my responsibility to live this life he created for me to the best of my ability.
At the end of the day, whatever situations we come from in life don't matter. At some point we can't blame our family, or our past or our situations. At some point, we have to set goals for our lives and think about the steps we need to take to accomplish them. The biggest thing I've learned is that when we live life on our own terms we are much happier. Outside forces are just bumpers on the road we travel, but we push the gas and steer the wheel. My goal is to take responsibility for myself in everything I do. I screw up sometimes, and sometimes I don't make the best decisions, but I dust myself off, learn from today and prepare for tomorrow. Sometimes I make good decisions and I take pride in that. What I've found is that if I attempt to sow love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, and self control that I will reap the same in return. Personal Responsibility. I'm in control!
Craigslist (Buck)
nce my original craigsllist listing did not work so well I figured I had to revamp my strategy. Although I was very thankful for the responses. If you haven't seen my original attempt at love you can look back through my notes. I regret to inform "biggurlballin" that Uno will not be available. I do appreciate the fact that, "You think you got what I need." I figured I needed a new approach. Something that perhaps summed me up a little better. Something that calls to the classy, elegant women out there. http://atlanta.craigslist.org/m4w/1133604032.html
Man seeking Woman:
Hello ladies my name is James William Cooter, but my nicknames are Jim Bob, Buck, Flathead and Little Britches. I go by them all, whatever suits yo fancy. Call me up for supper and I promise you that we will rustle up some good grub. I will take you out in my truck, but be warned, you better bring your jumpin shoes, cause it ain't no low rider if you know what I mean. I have a bench seat for your enjoyment. You can slide right over and ride in the middle next to Big Buck, and if you bring your gun we gotta place to hang that too. If everything goes well, I look forward to bringing you back to the casa....that's house in mexican. As you can see I am versed in many languages. I call my living quarters, "The enchantment in the driveway." It may be on wheels but the tires are flat for the right sugar muffin. You don't have to worry about us rolling anywhere, and it's parked right outside my mama's house, so if we ever need anything we can scooch on in there.
I have two loves in my life. My truck named Hola, which means hello in mexican. You'll notice it, it's on the back windor in big, bold letters. I don't really like to say hello to my truck, but I just like the way Hola rolls off the tongue, and since I am so versed in foreign culture I cayn't let that go to waist. I tell my buddy Skeeter it means "fighting warrior", so please don't spoil it when you meet em. He's like a worn out shovel, he ain't the brightest tool in the shed but he's always there to help me dig in the dirt that's called life. My other love is my hunting dog Blue. I called him Blue cause that's what color he was when he was borned. I was angry as a midget at an amusement park until I realized he was just chokin. I was like, "Flathead cayn't be carrying around no blue dawg." He started breathin when I unclogged his throat. He just got choked up on that hot dawg I tried to feed him right after he was borned. It was a birthday present gone as bad as one my Daddy's 6 marriages.
I am what the french call an entrepreneur....it means self made businessman. My current project is promoting my new scent for men. It's a unique blend of several spices and herbs mixed with deer pee. It's called "Spicy Mist." The catch phrase is, "Cupid shoots arrows, Spicy Mist shoots bullets." It sounds exotic, but it is down home goodness....wooo weeee let me tell ya. Believe me when I tell you that my buddy Skeeter rubs some on his boots every time he goes out. I ain't blowin smoke up your skirt when I tell you that women find the scent real niced. They're on him like stink on cow crap. So, if good smelling scents are your thing be prepared to be drawn in like a mosquito to a bug zapper...."POW".
I'm just lookin for the right sugar snap pea for my garden of life. I prefer to start with a nice place like Slims Country Buffett. I really prefer to eat buffets because I feel like I got the advantage. They don't make their money off me if you know what I'm sayin. That and I prefer everything I eat fried. I even fry popsicles, it's tricky, but it tastes really good with a nice glass of buttermilk. As you can see I'm pretty diversified. I speak French and Mexican for all the fancy to do women out there, but I got enough down home goodness that you'll feel as at home as a tick on a hounddog suckin blood. I ain't a big fan of this new technology, so I ain't got internet or a phone (my cousin once removed is puttin this out fer me). I do carry my pager, so just hit me up 911 and Little Britches will be on yo doorstep as quick as you can say Bugtussel.
Man seeking Woman:
Hello ladies my name is James William Cooter, but my nicknames are Jim Bob, Buck, Flathead and Little Britches. I go by them all, whatever suits yo fancy. Call me up for supper and I promise you that we will rustle up some good grub. I will take you out in my truck, but be warned, you better bring your jumpin shoes, cause it ain't no low rider if you know what I mean. I have a bench seat for your enjoyment. You can slide right over and ride in the middle next to Big Buck, and if you bring your gun we gotta place to hang that too. If everything goes well, I look forward to bringing you back to the casa....that's house in mexican. As you can see I am versed in many languages. I call my living quarters, "The enchantment in the driveway." It may be on wheels but the tires are flat for the right sugar muffin. You don't have to worry about us rolling anywhere, and it's parked right outside my mama's house, so if we ever need anything we can scooch on in there.
I have two loves in my life. My truck named Hola, which means hello in mexican. You'll notice it, it's on the back windor in big, bold letters. I don't really like to say hello to my truck, but I just like the way Hola rolls off the tongue, and since I am so versed in foreign culture I cayn't let that go to waist. I tell my buddy Skeeter it means "fighting warrior", so please don't spoil it when you meet em. He's like a worn out shovel, he ain't the brightest tool in the shed but he's always there to help me dig in the dirt that's called life. My other love is my hunting dog Blue. I called him Blue cause that's what color he was when he was borned. I was angry as a midget at an amusement park until I realized he was just chokin. I was like, "Flathead cayn't be carrying around no blue dawg." He started breathin when I unclogged his throat. He just got choked up on that hot dawg I tried to feed him right after he was borned. It was a birthday present gone as bad as one my Daddy's 6 marriages.
I am what the french call an entrepreneur....it means self made businessman. My current project is promoting my new scent for men. It's a unique blend of several spices and herbs mixed with deer pee. It's called "Spicy Mist." The catch phrase is, "Cupid shoots arrows, Spicy Mist shoots bullets." It sounds exotic, but it is down home goodness....wooo weeee let me tell ya. Believe me when I tell you that my buddy Skeeter rubs some on his boots every time he goes out. I ain't blowin smoke up your skirt when I tell you that women find the scent real niced. They're on him like stink on cow crap. So, if good smelling scents are your thing be prepared to be drawn in like a mosquito to a bug zapper...."POW".
I'm just lookin for the right sugar snap pea for my garden of life. I prefer to start with a nice place like Slims Country Buffett. I really prefer to eat buffets because I feel like I got the advantage. They don't make their money off me if you know what I'm sayin. That and I prefer everything I eat fried. I even fry popsicles, it's tricky, but it tastes really good with a nice glass of buttermilk. As you can see I'm pretty diversified. I speak French and Mexican for all the fancy to do women out there, but I got enough down home goodness that you'll feel as at home as a tick on a hounddog suckin blood. I ain't a big fan of this new technology, so I ain't got internet or a phone (my cousin once removed is puttin this out fer me). I do carry my pager, so just hit me up 911 and Little Britches will be on yo doorstep as quick as you can say Bugtussel.
Speaking without a filter
I'm beginning to believe that sometimes my brain lives in an alternate universe than my body. Sometimes I just open my mouth and let whatever is in my mind come flowing out. It's random and sometimes it makes no sense. What got me thinking about this parallel universe that I live in was today when the fedex guy came into my office. I have a knife that someone gave me. I have a habit of opening and closing my knife when I'm reading things on my computer. It's like my stress ball reliever, haha. I didn't realize how crazy this looks until he came into my office. Here I am at a computer with a knife in one hand and I turn around and look at him and smile. He's like, "Wow, that's a knife." My immediate response was to say, "Yep, I'm ready to open some packages." Not really, I just had a knife in my hand like I'm Rambo waiting on the Viet Cong. He then says, "Well it's just an envelope." My response, "Yes it is...but sometimes they can be tricky." In my mind I'm thinking, that was so stupid to say. Well instead of putting the knife down I had to go with it. I simply transfer it to my left hand and am holding it skyward as he cautiously reaches out the tracking device to sign. This wasn't our normal guy. I guess the other one has gotten used to it. Well, I don't want it to seem like I have a knife at all times, maybe he's never seen it. I don't know, but I made a decision, no more knife wielding in the office, or at least when fedex/ups come through. I can't have them thinking I'm crazy :).
If this was the only situation I had found myself in then I would've let it go. Unfortunately, it is not. A couple years ago I was talking to someone who was telling me about Jake. Apparently someone he thought I knew really well. He was like, "That's really sad what happened to Jake. I know ya'll were close." I was like, "Yeah....what was the whole story on that". The whole time I'm trying to remember who Jake was and why he thought I knew him so well. So, while my mind was thinking about Jake, my body was carrying on a conversation. The guy said, "Yeah, he was in that really bad accident and the doctors said he might not have ever walked again if he survived." Well, as I'm still trying to figure out who Jake is, I blurt out, "Well, I guess he's better off." The guy then looks at me and says with a stern face, "Well, he'd still be alive and there's a possibility he could've walked." At this point the back up lights come on in my mind, beep...beep...beep as I realized what I had just said. I should've just said, "Sorry, I was just trying to figure out who in the world Jake was." That's not me though. My motus operandi is to keep talking until the other person is thoroughly confused, :). So at this point I begin to speak, "Well, not better off of course, God rest his soul, but man that's awful. You just have to feel for people when they're in those situations. You never want to lose your legs and you never wanna die, ever. Especially a good man like that. Jake was just Jake and the world will never be the same." The guy looked at me like, "What in the world did you just say?", but he simply said, "Yep." I still wanna know who Jake was. I just took the conversation too far to bring it back.
I smile a lot. I don't know why. I'm happy enough I guess, but I just smile for really no reason. I don't understand it. This has gotten me in trouble before. I was in a situation where I was out and a girl was talking to me. Nothing big, just casual conversation. We were aquaintances who had mutual friends. Well, the boyfriend comes up and wants to jump on my case. She said, "First of all I came and talked to him and we were discussing a mutual friend." I nodded yes and thought that was the end of it. Well then, he says, "What are you looking at, smiley?" Well, my immediate reaction with no filter was to say, "Your face...I can laugh all day at that." This didn't sit well. His girlfriend apologized to me and started to pull him away. I was done and walking away, when I heard, "You say something like that to me again, I'll punch you in the face." Well at this point all logic and reason went out the window and I turned and looked at the guy with a crazy, insane look and said, "You don't know me. You don't what I'm capable of. You take one swing at me and I'll kill you. Not play, like I'll punch you. I'll physically end your life. So swing." He said, "You're insane." I said, "Yes, I am". Now after they walked away, I thought that was really stupid. I'm not a fighter. I'm like a peacock who throws the feathers out there to scare off the predators. I'm all sizzle, no steak :).
So, the bottom line is I'm striving to bring my mind into a more calm reality. I'm trying to think before I speak. Ah, you know what screw it. I like being random. I enjoy smiling. I like to write crazy checks with my mouth that I know my body can't cash. I love to live by the rule that everything is cool, just as long as nobody gets hurt. I know no other way than to live, love and laugh a lot. So, I continue on speaking and writing to other people like I'm having conversations with myself, haha.
If this was the only situation I had found myself in then I would've let it go. Unfortunately, it is not. A couple years ago I was talking to someone who was telling me about Jake. Apparently someone he thought I knew really well. He was like, "That's really sad what happened to Jake. I know ya'll were close." I was like, "Yeah....what was the whole story on that". The whole time I'm trying to remember who Jake was and why he thought I knew him so well. So, while my mind was thinking about Jake, my body was carrying on a conversation. The guy said, "Yeah, he was in that really bad accident and the doctors said he might not have ever walked again if he survived." Well, as I'm still trying to figure out who Jake is, I blurt out, "Well, I guess he's better off." The guy then looks at me and says with a stern face, "Well, he'd still be alive and there's a possibility he could've walked." At this point the back up lights come on in my mind, beep...beep...beep as I realized what I had just said. I should've just said, "Sorry, I was just trying to figure out who in the world Jake was." That's not me though. My motus operandi is to keep talking until the other person is thoroughly confused, :). So at this point I begin to speak, "Well, not better off of course, God rest his soul, but man that's awful. You just have to feel for people when they're in those situations. You never want to lose your legs and you never wanna die, ever. Especially a good man like that. Jake was just Jake and the world will never be the same." The guy looked at me like, "What in the world did you just say?", but he simply said, "Yep." I still wanna know who Jake was. I just took the conversation too far to bring it back.
I smile a lot. I don't know why. I'm happy enough I guess, but I just smile for really no reason. I don't understand it. This has gotten me in trouble before. I was in a situation where I was out and a girl was talking to me. Nothing big, just casual conversation. We were aquaintances who had mutual friends. Well, the boyfriend comes up and wants to jump on my case. She said, "First of all I came and talked to him and we were discussing a mutual friend." I nodded yes and thought that was the end of it. Well then, he says, "What are you looking at, smiley?" Well, my immediate reaction with no filter was to say, "Your face...I can laugh all day at that." This didn't sit well. His girlfriend apologized to me and started to pull him away. I was done and walking away, when I heard, "You say something like that to me again, I'll punch you in the face." Well at this point all logic and reason went out the window and I turned and looked at the guy with a crazy, insane look and said, "You don't know me. You don't what I'm capable of. You take one swing at me and I'll kill you. Not play, like I'll punch you. I'll physically end your life. So swing." He said, "You're insane." I said, "Yes, I am". Now after they walked away, I thought that was really stupid. I'm not a fighter. I'm like a peacock who throws the feathers out there to scare off the predators. I'm all sizzle, no steak :).
So, the bottom line is I'm striving to bring my mind into a more calm reality. I'm trying to think before I speak. Ah, you know what screw it. I like being random. I enjoy smiling. I like to write crazy checks with my mouth that I know my body can't cash. I love to live by the rule that everything is cool, just as long as nobody gets hurt. I know no other way than to live, love and laugh a lot. So, I continue on speaking and writing to other people like I'm having conversations with myself, haha.
Milestone Birthday
So, I've been told that I'm reaching a milestone in my life this week. Do I feel any different? No. Am I grown up? Yeah, I guess so. My age tells me I am, but Jimmy Buffett tells me I'm growing older not up :). I mean I'm still a Toys R Us kid at heart, but I understand responsibility. So, I'm taking a little time to evaluate what I've learned in my first 30 years. I'm gonna try to break down one memory from each age. Obviously as I got older there were more and more memories. So I tried to keep it fun and general.
1. I thought why is my Mom smoking crack?....Not really I just don't have any 1 year old memories and for those that know my Mom she is not a crack smoker :) She is the nicest person I've ever met and my Dad is the wisest person I've ever met. I love them both.
2. My baby brother was born.
3. My baby sister was born. Ya think we're all close in age. :)
4. This is when I shoved a bunch of raisins up my nose. It was like a human Pez dispenser.
5. My grandfather made a video of me singing, "Oh my Darlin, Clementine" with the biggest country twang you have ever heard. He wants to watch it every time we're together, haha :).
6. I was the Spelling Bee champion.
7. I got to walk on the field of Atlanta Fulton County Stadium...I can still remember how green the grass was. It was my coliseum.
8. I told a girl we could get married by giving her my ring pop....but we got hungry later on that day, so we had to call it off. I told her, "Next time I get a quarter, we'll do it again"
9. I bought my first tape "La Bamba" and discovered the first songs I ever really liked..."Paradise City" by Guns N Roses and "If I could turn back time" by Cher. Now that's a mixed tape fo shizzle.
10. I rode my bike to school everyday. I lived in a small town.
11. I moved to Gwinnett County to begin my run living in Ashton Place, being in the Gwinnett County school sytems and attending Mountain West Church.
12. I learned about labor rates by paying my sister a quarter to clean the house for me before she learned the value of money...Now, I'm afraid to try it because I fear inflation has hit.
13. Substitute teachers are not fond of you saying that your name is Ivana Tinkle when she asks for your name in front of the class. If no one would've laughed, I would've gotten away with it. I look Russian...wow, my inspiration The Simpsons has been on that long.
14. Do not turn the gas on in the fireplace...walk away to find matches...come back 5 minutes later and light a fire...it singes your hair, eyebrows and your face becomes flushed because of the giant cloud of fire that just went through you.
15. I got my learners license and scared my Dad by asking if it was a two lane road? He was looking down and said, "Yes." I pulled into the left lane at the red light and wondered aloud, "Why is there a car directly across the road from us with their headlights flashing?" His response as he looked up, "Paul, you're in the wrong lane!" Everyone knows "two lane" means I was asking if it was a one way street...unbelievable Pops :)
16. I learned the answer to every Sunday School question is simply to respond, "Pray and read the bible"
17. My favorite hairstyle of all time was when it was in small braids standing straight out...Coolio style
18. I attended 7 homecoming dances and 2 proms in one year...I can still hear "Come on ride that train...and ride it...whoop, whoop"
19. As treasurer of my college fraternity, I hosted many unofficial parties
20. I think lizards like swimming in an aquarium full of puke. It kind of looks swampy, like their native homeland. What they do not like is a lightbulb that is the wrong wattage. The sun was high in the sky that day my friend....RIP Cletus
21. I finished 86 hours in a year and a half to graduate on time at Georgia Tech. My greatest accomplishment. I basically spent the first two and half years socializing in Tennessee.
22. If you lose your wedding ring on your honeymoon it's a sign :).
23. My most awkward conversation starter of all time on a cruise with another couple eating dinner for the first time. Me-"Where are you from?" Them-"Memphis" Me-"Ah, central time zone. We're from Atlanta. Eastern time, an hour ahead of you guys." Let the crickets begin to chirp right about now....
24. I saw the power of prayer when 4 people were looking for wedding rings in a dark gravel parking lot.
25. Words cannot express the thanks I have for meeting the Mesh family. They are all my second family. If you know them, you know their greatness.
26. I learned if a girl goes for the line, "I'm a boxer and my name is Nitro"...not a keeper
27. Only in Detroit, can you run down the street with your shirt off in cold weather and the cop high fives you because the Tigers went to the world series for the first time in 25 years
28. I am eternally grateful to Ryan Burns for personally destroying the most hideous Christmas decoration of all time...a giant inflatable snow globe in my front yard...with a belly flop right in the middle....he came face to face with the devil that night
29. Just because an elderly black woman gives you her hat doesn't mean you should wear it the entire night, especially when you look like Blossom...or a shirt with a D that looks like it was put on by a bedazzler
Good decisions, bad decisions. This is where I'm supposed to be, because this is where I am. I love my family and friends. Thank you all. I'm thankful for all the people I've been able to spend time with. The relationships I've had have definitely been interesting, but they all had good parts. I choose to remember that. Thank you for the greatest thirty years in the world. I look forward to the rest. Much love. Paul.
1. I thought why is my Mom smoking crack?....Not really I just don't have any 1 year old memories and for those that know my Mom she is not a crack smoker :) She is the nicest person I've ever met and my Dad is the wisest person I've ever met. I love them both.
2. My baby brother was born.
3. My baby sister was born. Ya think we're all close in age. :)
4. This is when I shoved a bunch of raisins up my nose. It was like a human Pez dispenser.
5. My grandfather made a video of me singing, "Oh my Darlin, Clementine" with the biggest country twang you have ever heard. He wants to watch it every time we're together, haha :).
6. I was the Spelling Bee champion.
7. I got to walk on the field of Atlanta Fulton County Stadium...I can still remember how green the grass was. It was my coliseum.
8. I told a girl we could get married by giving her my ring pop....but we got hungry later on that day, so we had to call it off. I told her, "Next time I get a quarter, we'll do it again"
9. I bought my first tape "La Bamba" and discovered the first songs I ever really liked..."Paradise City" by Guns N Roses and "If I could turn back time" by Cher. Now that's a mixed tape fo shizzle.
10. I rode my bike to school everyday. I lived in a small town.
11. I moved to Gwinnett County to begin my run living in Ashton Place, being in the Gwinnett County school sytems and attending Mountain West Church.
12. I learned about labor rates by paying my sister a quarter to clean the house for me before she learned the value of money...Now, I'm afraid to try it because I fear inflation has hit.
13. Substitute teachers are not fond of you saying that your name is Ivana Tinkle when she asks for your name in front of the class. If no one would've laughed, I would've gotten away with it. I look Russian...wow, my inspiration The Simpsons has been on that long.
14. Do not turn the gas on in the fireplace...walk away to find matches...come back 5 minutes later and light a fire...it singes your hair, eyebrows and your face becomes flushed because of the giant cloud of fire that just went through you.
15. I got my learners license and scared my Dad by asking if it was a two lane road? He was looking down and said, "Yes." I pulled into the left lane at the red light and wondered aloud, "Why is there a car directly across the road from us with their headlights flashing?" His response as he looked up, "Paul, you're in the wrong lane!" Everyone knows "two lane" means I was asking if it was a one way street...unbelievable Pops :)
16. I learned the answer to every Sunday School question is simply to respond, "Pray and read the bible"
17. My favorite hairstyle of all time was when it was in small braids standing straight out...Coolio style
18. I attended 7 homecoming dances and 2 proms in one year...I can still hear "Come on ride that train...and ride it...whoop, whoop"
19. As treasurer of my college fraternity, I hosted many unofficial parties
20. I think lizards like swimming in an aquarium full of puke. It kind of looks swampy, like their native homeland. What they do not like is a lightbulb that is the wrong wattage. The sun was high in the sky that day my friend....RIP Cletus
21. I finished 86 hours in a year and a half to graduate on time at Georgia Tech. My greatest accomplishment. I basically spent the first two and half years socializing in Tennessee.
22. If you lose your wedding ring on your honeymoon it's a sign :).
23. My most awkward conversation starter of all time on a cruise with another couple eating dinner for the first time. Me-"Where are you from?" Them-"Memphis" Me-"Ah, central time zone. We're from Atlanta. Eastern time, an hour ahead of you guys." Let the crickets begin to chirp right about now....
24. I saw the power of prayer when 4 people were looking for wedding rings in a dark gravel parking lot.
25. Words cannot express the thanks I have for meeting the Mesh family. They are all my second family. If you know them, you know their greatness.
26. I learned if a girl goes for the line, "I'm a boxer and my name is Nitro"...not a keeper
27. Only in Detroit, can you run down the street with your shirt off in cold weather and the cop high fives you because the Tigers went to the world series for the first time in 25 years
28. I am eternally grateful to Ryan Burns for personally destroying the most hideous Christmas decoration of all time...a giant inflatable snow globe in my front yard...with a belly flop right in the middle....he came face to face with the devil that night
29. Just because an elderly black woman gives you her hat doesn't mean you should wear it the entire night, especially when you look like Blossom...or a shirt with a D that looks like it was put on by a bedazzler
Good decisions, bad decisions. This is where I'm supposed to be, because this is where I am. I love my family and friends. Thank you all. I'm thankful for all the people I've been able to spend time with. The relationships I've had have definitely been interesting, but they all had good parts. I choose to remember that. Thank you for the greatest thirty years in the world. I look forward to the rest. Much love. Paul.
Coaching
As most people know I have been coaching baseball for the past 4 years at various age levels. I started off with T-Ball. Then I coached 17-18 year olds for 2 years. This year I am coaching 12 year olds. I love it. I love baseball. It was my first love as a kid. It was the sport I played up until my sophomore year of high school. I try to encourage all my friends with kids to get there children involved in sports. It is the most reflective aspect of how our lives operate in the real world. There is winning and losing, and it isn't fair. It teaches kids how to get along with others, how to lead, and that sometimes you can do everything right and still lose. This was one of the greatest life lessons I learned from playing sports. Sometimes I would have a great game and lose, and sometimes I would play awful and still win. The great thing about team sports is the collection makes the whole. You win as a team and you lose as a team. I credit sports for allowing me to get along with different personality types long after playing.
It took me awhile to make the transition from playing into coaching. Nothing beats the feeling of being able to physically affect a game, and as a coach I can't do that. What I have learned is that I can try to put my kids in the best position to win and teach each one to get better, and that is satisfying in itself. My 12 year old team is drama city...and I love it. I really like them because they have a swagger about them. They really believe that every time they go out on the field they're the best team and they're going to win. During my pregame speeches I tell them to hold on to that. I say, "Play confidently, but not cocky." I always tell them, "If we all play with the right amount of effort we'll be competitive today." One kid on the team I've known for 4 years. He's like a little brother that I'm trying to tame. He's one of the biggest, most intense kids in the league. The other day we had a play on where the catcher was faking the throw to second base and turning and throwing to third base. It worked like a charm except the catcher threw it a little high and the ball went into left field. The aforementioned kid was pitching and turns and looks at me and says, "You're stupid coach!" To which my only response was immediately to say, "Oh yeah, well you're stupid" I felt like the biggest idiot after the fact. I talked to him after the game and said, "Listen I'm sorry for saying that to you" He said, "What did you say? I tuned you out" I said, "That's why I love ya, crazy."
I love it. Seeing kids win at different levels is simply amazing. You see the pure joy and jubilation. It's real. I can remember coaching T-ball when I would be thinking strategy and look up and one kid is climbing the outfield fence, one is drawing smily faces in the dirt and the other is digging a hole in the grass. They all wanted to win because they would all look at the scoreboard, but it wasn't the most important thing. The most important thing on their mind is, "What's for snack?" It would always crack me up when they would ask me right before they hit, "What's for snack after the game?" I laughed and said, "I don't know, but I'm sure it's good." The intensity and desire to win goes up at every level culminating with the upper age group and that's OK.
So, I continue to coach and have fun with it and remember what it was like to be a kid at all levels...having fun with your friends. I'm not a kid anymore ahd I have responsibilities now. I'm not upset about that. I actually enjoy responsibility. It keeps me focused. But, I will never stop enjoying life and having fun with my friends and family. Balancing the serious side of life with the fun side, till the day I die...that I can promise you.
It took me awhile to make the transition from playing into coaching. Nothing beats the feeling of being able to physically affect a game, and as a coach I can't do that. What I have learned is that I can try to put my kids in the best position to win and teach each one to get better, and that is satisfying in itself. My 12 year old team is drama city...and I love it. I really like them because they have a swagger about them. They really believe that every time they go out on the field they're the best team and they're going to win. During my pregame speeches I tell them to hold on to that. I say, "Play confidently, but not cocky." I always tell them, "If we all play with the right amount of effort we'll be competitive today." One kid on the team I've known for 4 years. He's like a little brother that I'm trying to tame. He's one of the biggest, most intense kids in the league. The other day we had a play on where the catcher was faking the throw to second base and turning and throwing to third base. It worked like a charm except the catcher threw it a little high and the ball went into left field. The aforementioned kid was pitching and turns and looks at me and says, "You're stupid coach!" To which my only response was immediately to say, "Oh yeah, well you're stupid" I felt like the biggest idiot after the fact. I talked to him after the game and said, "Listen I'm sorry for saying that to you" He said, "What did you say? I tuned you out" I said, "That's why I love ya, crazy."
I love it. Seeing kids win at different levels is simply amazing. You see the pure joy and jubilation. It's real. I can remember coaching T-ball when I would be thinking strategy and look up and one kid is climbing the outfield fence, one is drawing smily faces in the dirt and the other is digging a hole in the grass. They all wanted to win because they would all look at the scoreboard, but it wasn't the most important thing. The most important thing on their mind is, "What's for snack?" It would always crack me up when they would ask me right before they hit, "What's for snack after the game?" I laughed and said, "I don't know, but I'm sure it's good." The intensity and desire to win goes up at every level culminating with the upper age group and that's OK.
So, I continue to coach and have fun with it and remember what it was like to be a kid at all levels...having fun with your friends. I'm not a kid anymore ahd I have responsibilities now. I'm not upset about that. I actually enjoy responsibility. It keeps me focused. But, I will never stop enjoying life and having fun with my friends and family. Balancing the serious side of life with the fun side, till the day I die...that I can promise you.
Confidently with purpose
I always say that there is only one way to live life...confidently with purpose. You don't have all the answers, but guess what...nobody else does either. Did I plan on being where I am...NO. 10 years ago, if someone would have asked me where I would be, I would've told them married and a couple of kids. Well that didn't happen :). You go with it. Life isn't to be controlled. It doesn't fit in that perfect box of plans. No matter what curves life has thrown at us we've got to keep moving. Life is not about what happens to us...it's how we react. I will never use anything that's happened to me as a crutch and say "Oh, woe is me." Our past is not baggage that follows us, or pain that we can't recover from. It is simply life lessons that we use in the future. The old saying that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger is so true. Embrace what we've been through, because we can't change it. My Dad gave me some of the greatest advice. He once told me, "You will always be wiser 10 years down the road." I strive to constantly learn. Pain is a scar. I look at it and remember how it hurt, but I can touch it and it doesn't hurt any more. My past doesn't shatter my confidence, it strengthens it.
A confident person in my mind is someone that is comfortable in their own skin and believes in their purpose. My purpose in life and what drives me is being involved in other people's lives. Not because I can help them...because they help me. I always say I can only live one life, but the more intricately I know people the more life experience I gain...just by hearing their stories. Some are funny, some are sad, but they all impact me. Confidence is not having the answer all the time. It's recognizing what you know, and not being afraid to say, "I don't know." Confidence is not the loudest person in the room. Some people don't like it when you try to give them the answer to everything :). Some of the most confident people I've met in life are kind of quiet.
We can and should all be confident people. We don't get another life. This is it, make the best of it. Confidence is simply choosing to be happy when you look in the mirror, no matter the circumstances. My attitude has always been, why not like that guy looking back at me, it's not like I can be somebody else. If you don't believe in yourself then who will. I always wish that people could look at themselves through others eyes. Sometimes you will find that there is a disparity between how you perceive yourself and how others see you. For some that's good and for some that's not, haha. Deep down we all share the same fears and insecurities. The way we differ is how we handle these. What I love is genuineness. There are some grumpy, miserable people that I love simply because they are who they are. I'll take that anyday over the person who, if they're aren't talking to you they're talking about you. Long term, you will never get ahead by stepping on people on the way up.
One misconception is that we need admiration for confidence. Not necessarily true. It's nice, but at the end of the day it's my life and I'm going to live it the way I want to. I always tell people to do the same. God gave me a brain for a reason. If people can't figure out the consequences to their actions, then they are doomed to constantly make the same mistakes. It always amazes me when people act like the results came out of thin air. You were baking a cake? What did you expect, pizza? We're all guilty of it...sometimes I've started to cook some mac and cheese expecting rice to be there when I got back to the stove, :). I strive to never live in fear. Being bull headed is a form of confidence, but not necessarily a good one. If it doesn't serve your purpose...you're just being stubborn for no good reason. Sometimes, refusing not too change is just stupidity. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result I always want to constantly evaluate and see if what I'm doing is helping or hurting my purpose. There's a healthy balance. Extremes are always scary in anything I've found. I really believe that God put us on this earth and said here you go. What are we going to do with the time we are given? God gave me the tools, it's my job to put them to use. We will always reap what we sow. So, as I go forward I sow confidently, believing wholeheartedly in what I'm doing, but remaining flexible enough to change.
My ideal person and what I aspire to be is someone who has these qualities:
They listen to others, but make up their own mind
They talk to people, not down or up, knowing that no one is better or worse than them
They realize that leadership first starts with being a servant
They are the same person 24/7, no matter the audience
They look at the big picture, but know that the small stuff are pieces of the puzzle
They believe in their purpose!
A confident person in my mind is someone that is comfortable in their own skin and believes in their purpose. My purpose in life and what drives me is being involved in other people's lives. Not because I can help them...because they help me. I always say I can only live one life, but the more intricately I know people the more life experience I gain...just by hearing their stories. Some are funny, some are sad, but they all impact me. Confidence is not having the answer all the time. It's recognizing what you know, and not being afraid to say, "I don't know." Confidence is not the loudest person in the room. Some people don't like it when you try to give them the answer to everything :). Some of the most confident people I've met in life are kind of quiet.
We can and should all be confident people. We don't get another life. This is it, make the best of it. Confidence is simply choosing to be happy when you look in the mirror, no matter the circumstances. My attitude has always been, why not like that guy looking back at me, it's not like I can be somebody else. If you don't believe in yourself then who will. I always wish that people could look at themselves through others eyes. Sometimes you will find that there is a disparity between how you perceive yourself and how others see you. For some that's good and for some that's not, haha. Deep down we all share the same fears and insecurities. The way we differ is how we handle these. What I love is genuineness. There are some grumpy, miserable people that I love simply because they are who they are. I'll take that anyday over the person who, if they're aren't talking to you they're talking about you. Long term, you will never get ahead by stepping on people on the way up.
One misconception is that we need admiration for confidence. Not necessarily true. It's nice, but at the end of the day it's my life and I'm going to live it the way I want to. I always tell people to do the same. God gave me a brain for a reason. If people can't figure out the consequences to their actions, then they are doomed to constantly make the same mistakes. It always amazes me when people act like the results came out of thin air. You were baking a cake? What did you expect, pizza? We're all guilty of it...sometimes I've started to cook some mac and cheese expecting rice to be there when I got back to the stove, :). I strive to never live in fear. Being bull headed is a form of confidence, but not necessarily a good one. If it doesn't serve your purpose...you're just being stubborn for no good reason. Sometimes, refusing not too change is just stupidity. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result I always want to constantly evaluate and see if what I'm doing is helping or hurting my purpose. There's a healthy balance. Extremes are always scary in anything I've found. I really believe that God put us on this earth and said here you go. What are we going to do with the time we are given? God gave me the tools, it's my job to put them to use. We will always reap what we sow. So, as I go forward I sow confidently, believing wholeheartedly in what I'm doing, but remaining flexible enough to change.
My ideal person and what I aspire to be is someone who has these qualities:
They listen to others, but make up their own mind
They talk to people, not down or up, knowing that no one is better or worse than them
They realize that leadership first starts with being a servant
They are the same person 24/7, no matter the audience
They look at the big picture, but know that the small stuff are pieces of the puzzle
They believe in their purpose!
Love
Since it is almost Valentine's Day I figured I can write a love poem, haha. That's not me. A lot of people hate Valentine's Day. I'm not one of those...probably because I don't have to get anything this year :). That always makes it sweeter, haha. Any holiday that reminds us that life is all about love is not a bad thing. Now, we do live in America and every holiday is commercialized for someone to make money, but the essence of the celebration of showing love is still a good thing. I never realized the huge difference between love and infatuation until I went through a relationship that was based on the latter. I realized that if you "fall in love"...you can fall right back out. I believe true love is connecting in the soul. It can be platonically, like the way we love our family and friends, or romantically, like the way we love a significant other. It's looking at someone and thinking they're beautiful, but knowing that if they burned their face off tomorrow you'd still love them. We always say we love somebody because we would die for them, but do we live for them? Saying you're going to die for someone is actually pretty easy seeing that there will probably never be a need for that to happen. Living for someone is love. Putting someone +above ourselves is love. The best relationships(romantic and platonic) I've been around are when both parties put the other first.
Relationships absolutely amaze me. I really think they may be the hardest things in the world to pull off and yes I do know that I'm a little jaded. I respect them and I respect anyone in one. I've been out before and met girls in relationships that wanted to see where we would go. I've walked away. One girl said, "What are you doing?" My response, "I've been the guy on the other side of that equation." The grass may look greener over there but it's probably cause it's been growing in cow crap. One friend of mine told me, "You know there are some people in this life you should hate, and since you don't, I gotta hate them for you. That puts more on me." I laughed, but I can't make myself hate people, not because I'm this good person, but for selfish reasons. I know it will only harm me and make me worse off for it.
I guess the reason I like Valentine's Day is because it doesn't just represent romantic love. To me, it represents unconditional love. My mother used to always get me Valentine's Day cards to remind me that she loved me. I am blessed to have the parents that I do because they taught me the true essence of love. It may or may not be parents, but I'm sure we all have similar people in our lives who have shown us unconditional love. Let us show love to as many people as possible, remembering that love is patient, kind and never self seeking. The bottom line is that the more people we truly love, the more our lives are enriched.
Relationships absolutely amaze me. I really think they may be the hardest things in the world to pull off and yes I do know that I'm a little jaded. I respect them and I respect anyone in one. I've been out before and met girls in relationships that wanted to see where we would go. I've walked away. One girl said, "What are you doing?" My response, "I've been the guy on the other side of that equation." The grass may look greener over there but it's probably cause it's been growing in cow crap. One friend of mine told me, "You know there are some people in this life you should hate, and since you don't, I gotta hate them for you. That puts more on me." I laughed, but I can't make myself hate people, not because I'm this good person, but for selfish reasons. I know it will only harm me and make me worse off for it.
I guess the reason I like Valentine's Day is because it doesn't just represent romantic love. To me, it represents unconditional love. My mother used to always get me Valentine's Day cards to remind me that she loved me. I am blessed to have the parents that I do because they taught me the true essence of love. It may or may not be parents, but I'm sure we all have similar people in our lives who have shown us unconditional love. Let us show love to as many people as possible, remembering that love is patient, kind and never self seeking. The bottom line is that the more people we truly love, the more our lives are enriched.
I'll go into the full story if people want them. I've been in a lot of interesting situations. Everyone is doing the 25 things about themselves right now. This is my version of it. I thought about doing it, but I didn't want to mix serious with funny. Every one of these is funny in some way or the other, even if it doesn't sound like it.....trust me. I could've done about 50, but these were the first 25 things that popped into my head. My criteria was something that I had only done once and had to be explained in one sentence. Please remember these are the punchlines. The story may not be what you think it is.... Ask me and I'll be glad to tell you. I try to make my life an open book.
1. I once threw up on people at a Tennessee football game
2. I once was escorted to a wedding in the back of a police car
3. I once chased someone down the hallway of a 4 star hotel naked....well with 1 sock on
4. I once took my shirt off at a nightclub and was left bare chested in the middle of the floor waving my shirt to "Take your shirt off, wave it round yo head like a helicopter"...that drew a crowd
5. I once ran over my friend's foot with my car
6. I once was stranded in the middle of a lake when it was lightning...bobbing in the water
7. I once had a transvestite that thought I was a good catch...I had to turn them down
8. I once had a foreigner lock himself in my garage and didn't know how to get out until I found him smiling in the dark
9. I once had a conversation with Pink and informed her that she would never make it....she made it
10. I once tried to use the same ID, but military, as my friend next to me....and when questioned about it my only response was, "...and your point is"
11. I once ran from the cops when they busted a party and I was underage, tripped in the middle of the road, flipped, landed on my feet and ran to the nearest gas station
12. I once set my friend up with the ugliest woman known to man...he's still never forgiven me
13. I once got out of a car in the middle of Macon, GA, in the middle of the street, because I didn't think someone was safe to drive
14. I once took someone down an advanced ski slope that they weren't ready for and they tore their ACL....I still feel bad
15. I once had a girl I was seeing that said the following, "I'm wearing Kevlar because my brother's been shooting at me"
16. I once got tackled into a window of a 3 story building
17. I once took the guys on a church trip to Hooters...it was big at the time :)
18. I once made a stranger really mad by saying, "Your mother makes good pancakes"....it was an insult, think about it
19. I once had hot wax poured on me...that hurt
20. I once had a conversation with a woman I didn't know, that broke in on me in a men's bathroom stall, explaining why I wasn't going to stop urinating so that she could sit down, but I did say I had good aim if she wanted to give it a try
21. I once had my brother chase me down the street with a knife threatening to kill me...we were young
22. I once had a rock thrown at me when I was at "College Gameday"...it hit the guy beside me
23. I once was with a guy that had his jeep set on fire by an ex-girlfriend...we were inside at the time
24. I once went to Jacksonville for 3 days and had my suitcase stolen by a homeless man the first day
25. I once played Jesus in an Easter play
1. I once threw up on people at a Tennessee football game
2. I once was escorted to a wedding in the back of a police car
3. I once chased someone down the hallway of a 4 star hotel naked....well with 1 sock on
4. I once took my shirt off at a nightclub and was left bare chested in the middle of the floor waving my shirt to "Take your shirt off, wave it round yo head like a helicopter"...that drew a crowd
5. I once ran over my friend's foot with my car
6. I once was stranded in the middle of a lake when it was lightning...bobbing in the water
7. I once had a transvestite that thought I was a good catch...I had to turn them down
8. I once had a foreigner lock himself in my garage and didn't know how to get out until I found him smiling in the dark
9. I once had a conversation with Pink and informed her that she would never make it....she made it
10. I once tried to use the same ID, but military, as my friend next to me....and when questioned about it my only response was, "...and your point is"
11. I once ran from the cops when they busted a party and I was underage, tripped in the middle of the road, flipped, landed on my feet and ran to the nearest gas station
12. I once set my friend up with the ugliest woman known to man...he's still never forgiven me
13. I once got out of a car in the middle of Macon, GA, in the middle of the street, because I didn't think someone was safe to drive
14. I once took someone down an advanced ski slope that they weren't ready for and they tore their ACL....I still feel bad
15. I once had a girl I was seeing that said the following, "I'm wearing Kevlar because my brother's been shooting at me"
16. I once got tackled into a window of a 3 story building
17. I once took the guys on a church trip to Hooters...it was big at the time :)
18. I once made a stranger really mad by saying, "Your mother makes good pancakes"....it was an insult, think about it
19. I once had hot wax poured on me...that hurt
20. I once had a conversation with a woman I didn't know, that broke in on me in a men's bathroom stall, explaining why I wasn't going to stop urinating so that she could sit down, but I did say I had good aim if she wanted to give it a try
21. I once had my brother chase me down the street with a knife threatening to kill me...we were young
22. I once had a rock thrown at me when I was at "College Gameday"...it hit the guy beside me
23. I once was with a guy that had his jeep set on fire by an ex-girlfriend...we were inside at the time
24. I once went to Jacksonville for 3 days and had my suitcase stolen by a homeless man the first day
25. I once played Jesus in an Easter play
Tennessee game
Someone told me if you're going to tell interesting stories from your past you need to tell the football game. I'll even use paragraphs :). Here it goes for those that haven't heard it. Some people cannot point to the lowest moment of their life. Mine is branded into my mind. It was a few years ago at a Tennessee/South Carolina football game. The game began at 7:30. We got there about 12:00. So, we had a few hours of pregame tailgating in a city I'm very fond of, Knoxville, Tennessee. 110,000 people on a sat. night in Neyland stadium is rockin. I'm there with a few friends of mine. I have some friends that liked the smokeless tobacco. I don't smoke, much less dip, so my nicotine tolerance is very low. I say to myself, "You know what let me put a dip in. I'm at a UT game and when in rome....be like Rocky Top." I had taken one years earlier while we were playing cards and my head just hit the table midway through the game. It made me so sick, but I was like, "I got this now."
Well, I'm good for about 10 minutes and then the stadium starts spinning. I look down and now see 3 runningbacks in the backfield. I immediately pull the substance out hoping that will end the pain, but the damage is done. I decide I need to sit down. I'm thinking just put your head down and relax for a few minutes and everything will be alright. At this point in the game, South Carolina has the ball and is driving. We are surrounded by a sea of orange, except for the three ladies in front of us who are gamecock fans through and through. South Carolina breaks off a big run and the three fans erupt with joy and high fives and are generally very loud about letting the Tennessee people know. They were obnoxious enough to make me stand up to see what was going on. This was a mistake. I stand up and before I can even react dinner came flowing from the depths of my stomach. It was like coming off a trampoline and I proceeded to unload all of my previous meal all over them.
The worst moment of my life came when I saw the ladies go from pure jubilation to the sudden realization that it's not raining....but something's coming down on us. I will never forget the look of pure horror in their eyes as they turned around to see their offender. To this day, I can't describe their faces to you, but I will never forget the curly haired brunette in front of me that caught the brunt of the force and had the particles just sitting on top. It was in all their hair and they stared at me in complete shock and awe. I just had a blank stare right back at them. In my mind I kept repeating, "This isn't real, this did not just happen." I look over at my 2 friends for help, but they are just rolling on the floor in laughter and pointing. I then hear a distant voice in the crowd that yells, "Watch out, he's puking." At this point I snap back to reality, and I'm like, "Uh-oh, I'm not dreaming", and take off for the bathroom. My friends tried to get me to go back, but I wasn't having it. I spent the rest of the game hanging out with the usher at the tunnel. They said, "The ladies left and the other people up there want to meet you." Apparently they liked me because I chased off the obnoxious opposing fans. I really feel bad about it now. If those ladies are out there somewhere, contact me and take your retribution. And Rocky Top, you will always be home sweet home to me.
Well, I'm good for about 10 minutes and then the stadium starts spinning. I look down and now see 3 runningbacks in the backfield. I immediately pull the substance out hoping that will end the pain, but the damage is done. I decide I need to sit down. I'm thinking just put your head down and relax for a few minutes and everything will be alright. At this point in the game, South Carolina has the ball and is driving. We are surrounded by a sea of orange, except for the three ladies in front of us who are gamecock fans through and through. South Carolina breaks off a big run and the three fans erupt with joy and high fives and are generally very loud about letting the Tennessee people know. They were obnoxious enough to make me stand up to see what was going on. This was a mistake. I stand up and before I can even react dinner came flowing from the depths of my stomach. It was like coming off a trampoline and I proceeded to unload all of my previous meal all over them.
The worst moment of my life came when I saw the ladies go from pure jubilation to the sudden realization that it's not raining....but something's coming down on us. I will never forget the look of pure horror in their eyes as they turned around to see their offender. To this day, I can't describe their faces to you, but I will never forget the curly haired brunette in front of me that caught the brunt of the force and had the particles just sitting on top. It was in all their hair and they stared at me in complete shock and awe. I just had a blank stare right back at them. In my mind I kept repeating, "This isn't real, this did not just happen." I look over at my 2 friends for help, but they are just rolling on the floor in laughter and pointing. I then hear a distant voice in the crowd that yells, "Watch out, he's puking." At this point I snap back to reality, and I'm like, "Uh-oh, I'm not dreaming", and take off for the bathroom. My friends tried to get me to go back, but I wasn't having it. I spent the rest of the game hanging out with the usher at the tunnel. They said, "The ladies left and the other people up there want to meet you." Apparently they liked me because I chased off the obnoxious opposing fans. I really feel bad about it now. If those ladies are out there somewhere, contact me and take your retribution. And Rocky Top, you will always be home sweet home to me.
MLK
Martin Luther King is a very interesting character in the history of the world. He made one of the greatest speeches, but I've always been fascinated by the interesting life he led. Most people will only focus on one thing, the speech, and hide his personal life. We as a society want heroes that are perfect, but that's not reality. Flawed people are what we all are. No one fits into the nice box of perfection. Here was a man that had multiple affairs throughout his married life. Here is one of the greatest men of our generation that led the revolution to change our country for the better and has avoided all scrutiny. Just think of the different ways Bill Clinton and Martin Luther King are perceived. I'm not writing this to condemn the man, please understand that. This just humanizes him, which is a good thing. This in no way should take away from his words. I believe wholeheartedly that we are all created equal. That woke us up to the complete discrimination based on race, but it's far from a problem that will ever go away. It's a battle for power that will be fought for as long as the world is in existence. People will always aspire to control others. Everyone hates a dictatorship, unless they're the dictator. Then the world would be run the way we think it should. If we hate others telling us what we should do, why would others enjoy us telling them what to do? My belief is that everything is permissible, as long as it doesn't infringe on someone else's God given rights. However, everything is not beneficial. Since this is MLK day I wanted to make my own speech. Hopefully people understand that I mean no disrespect to the original speech because it really was unbelievable.I have a dream that one day we will not try to control other people. I have a dream that one day laws will be taken off the books that cause you to commit a crime against yourself. If you want to overdose on drugs....it's not a crime, it's called stupidity. We will never be able to regulate stupidity. I have a dream that a fair tax will be implemented that bases a tax revenue on what people actually spend instead of what they make. I have a dream that one day government will be reduced to its simplest form and we will eliminate the corruption. I have a dream that we will meet as many diverse people in this life as possible. That when we see someone that is different than us that we will aspire to meet them and learn instead of criticize and ignore. I have a dream that we will understand that we don't have to like everyone or be liked by everyone...but we do have to respect everyone. I have a dream that we will understand that moderation and self control in everything are the keys to happy living. I have a dream that people will have faith in God and not try to prove it. I have a dream that we will ask what we can do for others instead of what they can do for us. I have a dream that we all find happiness in this life. I have a dream that we will accept the consequences of our own actions and not blame others.
Water
I've been in a lot of weird situations in life. Here's another one last week. I have to preface it by saying I wasn't the biggest fan of government run services anyway. On Dec. 30th I had a book of checks fall out of my truck somewhere. They were blank, but just as a precautionary measure I closed the account and opened a new one on Dec. 31. Well, I checked my online billing to make sure there was nothing outstanding. The last online payment was to the City for my water service on the 29th. Now, most online billpay is automatically deducted from my account. Apparently, the city government has not gotten with this new technology and is sent a check by my bank. I guess at this point it became my fault because I didn't double check to see that it cleared. I just saw that they received it on the 29th and forgot that it's not automatically deducted. I get home last week and go to take a shower. Got the shampoo in the hair and the water cuts off. This is like 7:30 at night. I'm like, "What the?" I turn the knob back and forth...nothing. I go to the sink...nothing. I think to myself somebody turned my water off. I'm thinking it's one of my friends playing a prank on me. I have some interesting friends. I jump out grab a towel and I'm running down the stairs soaped up with nothing but a smile and looking like a crazy man. Usually, when the soap is on I don't leave the shower until I'm done. This is uncharted territory for me, and I'm not exactly thinking straight. For some reason, I was so focused on getting my water on it didn't dawn on me that I was about to go out into my neighborhood with nothing but a towel, shampooed hair, dripping wet and a wrench. Only, when I get there I find the water meter locked. Of course, at this point I realize this must be the county that did this to me. I also realize I have nothing but a towel on and I'm standing in my front yard as my neighbor is looking at me with a weird look and the couple jogging down the street is like, "Hey". I'm just like "Hey, how's it goin?, with a sheepish grin" Then the car coming down the street with the lights on to just illuminate it. I don't really say anything just try to ease back in as fast as possible. I go check the sink downstairs and find a small trickle. I realize this is my only hope and have to stick my head under the sink. When I say trickle it's literally barely coming out. I used all that was in the lines. I twist and bend my body like a contortionist for about 10 minutes until I get as much soap as possible off. I felt like I was playing some medieval game of twister with the sink. At this point I'm livid. I call the city emergency line and the only thing I could say is, "Why is my water off?" She's like, "Excuse me." I repeated, "Why is the water off at this address?" She realized I wasn't much for conversation and put me on hold. She came back and said, "Your water was shut off because the check you sent was for a closed account." I was like, "When did you receive the check?" She says, "The 29th". I said, "When did you try to cash the check?" She says, "The 2nd". I said, "In the 5 1/2 years I've lived here, how many times have I not paid my water bill or been late." She checks and says, "None." I said, "And you couldn't call somebody and tell them or have an automated payment system or cash the check in the 2 days before I closed my account." She says, "I'm not sure why it wasn't cashed on the 29th, but I can have it turned back on for you tomorrow if you want to go ahead and pay the $30 late fee and the $50 reconnection fee." I'm like, "My water bill is only $30 a month but, I don't really have a choice, do I?" At this point I'm just beside myself, so I pay for everything and then she says, "We'll have someone out there tomorrow" I said, "No, that's ok, why not just send someone at the end of the week." This is Tuesday. She says, "Ok, would you like it turned on on Friday." I just shake my head and say, "No, please come tomorrow and I'll just be without water tonight." I know that the woman doesn't care and I tried to be nice knowing it wasn't her fault, but I ended with this statement, "I'm putting a well in my backyard. I don't care how much it costs, and when I do I'm cutting off my water." That showed her, haha.
Rejection
I don't really have a set pattern as is probably pretty obvious to anybody that reads my notes. I pretty much just write what I feel at the time. I love to laugh, so if I think something's funny I write about it. I have strong feelings about life, and I write my opinion on subjects. The feedback is always great and I appreciate it, but I don't seek it out, if that makes sense. The one thing that I sincerely hope is that we can all be comfortable in our own skin no matter what anyone thinks. I don't want to act like I don't care about what people think because obviously we all care how we're perceived. People who say that they don't are lying. I just encourage people to push through that. The old saying is that the people who matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter. It's a cool saying, but has a lot of truth. I always encourage people to be themselves in every way as long as your respectful of others. That means being natural, whatever that might be for you. This is me...this is who I am. I do what I do and sometimes people think it's funny or agree with what I say and sometimes they don't...and that's cool. I don't try to please everybody, but I do try to respect everybody. I learned long ago that if praise drives you then criticism will destroy you. The bottom line for me is that dealing with rejection is one of life's great ironies. It absolutely devastates you, but it can make you so much stronger. The lesson is a hard one, but one that we all must learn. We will all face major rejection(s) at some point in our lives. Whether it be relationships, or different circumstances in life. What someone or something is telling you is that you're not good enough. There are two bad ways of handling this. People go into a shell and become guarded bitter people refusing to let anyone close enough to hurt them and quit taking chances, or people go wild and seek acceptance from anything to try to erase the pain. The best advice I have is to develop a resiliency to learn the lesson from whatever the situation is and make changes to your life for the better. The people that take the first route aren't really living....they're just existing. Great living comes from the group that takes the second path, simply seeing life as a continual learning experience. These people go through rejection and take a tour through a land of depression and hurt and rise above it. You find an inner strength and drive that no one will be able to take away. When someone tells you you're not good enough you have to remind yourself that it's just their opinion. Rejection isn't bad, in fact it's great. We can never see it at the time because whatever is rejecting us is what we want most. As time goes by we can always look back and see our broken path. We realize how great it was that it didn't work out. Sometimes, as is the case with the delusional American Idol singers who think they're incredible, rejection is our first dose of reality. Sometimes we need to be rejected to wake us up. At the end though, rejection is simply doors being closed to continually lead us down the hallway of life.
Craigslist (Uno)
I'm a little worried about my protective sister whom I love. She is worried about me being alone even though I'm COMPLETELY ok with it. She's determined to go find me someone. So if she's gonna do that, I realized I was gonna have to beat her to the punch. So I did the only logical thing I could think of, went to craigslist and posted an ad. That's where you find em and sis if you think you can find someone better than I can with this ad, more power to ya:http://atlanta.craigslist.org/m4w/984473160.html
Man seeking woman: I have lived in the domesticated world(marriage) and the jungle(single life). I am currently in the jungle. My nickname is UNO, cause they say I'm the one. I'm known for my singin and dancin skills...been compared to Justin Timberlake. Although my style is a little more breakdancing mixed with salsa, and you know I can shake it like a salt shaker....to the window and to the wall. I love riding my hog, but don't worry....there's room for two on this moped. If you give me a beat I can freestyle like none other..."You can't handle this bomb.....when I come up in yo house, you get scared like a mouse."....just a taste of what I'm capable of. I'm 5'11 1/4 inches tall of snow whiteness. I feel like my best look is sepia. That's why I insist that all my photos have a sepia finish. It's not picky, just keepin it real. It's the right light. I have all my teeth and added bonus a little bling bling. In an ocean of people I only seek one fish. I hope that's you. I've spent my time with catfish and I'm done with the bottom feeders. I would like to start at Applebee's with a delicious oreo cookie shake. Depending on that, we can check on dinner....gotta be stingy with the Benji's these days. Help this king find his queen. I can be what you need me to be. If you wanna take things slow that's fine, or if you wanna get married right away I can do that too....I ain't scurred. I know that once you get on the tire with Uno we'll keep rollin and rollin baby. Uno just needs to find his Dos. I don't know what it is, but these single women seem to be scared by the aura of Uno. It's just weird cause I know they like me...I know for a fact. It's like after 10 missed calls you would think they would see someone's tryin to get a hold of them, but I ain't got time to wait on them to call back. It just made me mad cause a few times I've been like "Answer the phone girl!!! I know you're home, I'm in your driveway. I see your car." It's whatever....like I said I'm done with the bottom feeders. The best way to describe my dress code is classy, yet rustic. I feel like the elegance of the bolo tie is underrated. I have a distinct scent, Aqua Velva. I've tried others, but there's not a finer musk. I never leave the house without it. I always make sure to put enough on so that when you see me you're immediately drawn in by the Velva scent. Well, I think I've described myself. It's time for me to find out about you. Email me your pic and send me a message. Just put your pic in the best light, whatever that might be. Just remember....everybody loves to play Uno....CHICKAHCHIKHA (that's my signature sign off pronounced chick ah chick ha)
Man seeking woman: I have lived in the domesticated world(marriage) and the jungle(single life). I am currently in the jungle. My nickname is UNO, cause they say I'm the one. I'm known for my singin and dancin skills...been compared to Justin Timberlake. Although my style is a little more breakdancing mixed with salsa, and you know I can shake it like a salt shaker....to the window and to the wall. I love riding my hog, but don't worry....there's room for two on this moped. If you give me a beat I can freestyle like none other..."You can't handle this bomb.....when I come up in yo house, you get scared like a mouse."....just a taste of what I'm capable of. I'm 5'11 1/4 inches tall of snow whiteness. I feel like my best look is sepia. That's why I insist that all my photos have a sepia finish. It's not picky, just keepin it real. It's the right light. I have all my teeth and added bonus a little bling bling. In an ocean of people I only seek one fish. I hope that's you. I've spent my time with catfish and I'm done with the bottom feeders. I would like to start at Applebee's with a delicious oreo cookie shake. Depending on that, we can check on dinner....gotta be stingy with the Benji's these days. Help this king find his queen. I can be what you need me to be. If you wanna take things slow that's fine, or if you wanna get married right away I can do that too....I ain't scurred. I know that once you get on the tire with Uno we'll keep rollin and rollin baby. Uno just needs to find his Dos. I don't know what it is, but these single women seem to be scared by the aura of Uno. It's just weird cause I know they like me...I know for a fact. It's like after 10 missed calls you would think they would see someone's tryin to get a hold of them, but I ain't got time to wait on them to call back. It just made me mad cause a few times I've been like "Answer the phone girl!!! I know you're home, I'm in your driveway. I see your car." It's whatever....like I said I'm done with the bottom feeders. The best way to describe my dress code is classy, yet rustic. I feel like the elegance of the bolo tie is underrated. I have a distinct scent, Aqua Velva. I've tried others, but there's not a finer musk. I never leave the house without it. I always make sure to put enough on so that when you see me you're immediately drawn in by the Velva scent. Well, I think I've described myself. It's time for me to find out about you. Email me your pic and send me a message. Just put your pic in the best light, whatever that might be. Just remember....everybody loves to play Uno....CHICKAHCHIKHA (that's my signature sign off pronounced chick ah chick ha)
Jellyfish
I have now accepted the fact that I am a blogger. I used to deny it when people said it, and I was just like, "Ah, I just like to write my thoughts down sometimes." I had a couple people tell me I should transfer a few of my old ones from myspace over to my new world of the facebook. So, I will sprinkle them in with my current thoughts. I'm watching the Learning Channel the other night and I see a special on jellyfish and am reminded of my mortal fear of these creatures. I have never been stung by one, because even to this day my head's on a swivel every time I go into the ocean. I used to go to FL every summer to stay with my grandparents. My grandmother put this fear into me like none other. As anyone that knows her will tell you, sometimes she can scare you to death, especially warning a kid. She would tell me about jellyfish and how dangerous they were. If I ever saw one, swim for my life back to shore. I'm 10 years old at the time and more concerned about jellyfish than any shark that swims by. I'm so scared of these things that I just picture the ultimate killing machines that can swim, fly and run. Well, one day I'm walking down the beach collecting sea shells and I see my mortal enemy washed up on the beach. I immediately freeze in my tracks. In my mind I'm thinking the beast has seen me and I'm only about 10 feet away. I slowly start inching around the thing trying not to startle it. As I get even with the jellyfish, I hear a noise like a rattle. I immediately start walking a little faster and I hear more noise. I then take off in a full sprint and hear this rattling noise reach its peak. I'm like a 10 year old holy terror burning up the sand. I'm running through couples holding hands, hurdling sand castles....nothing is slowing this stupid thing down. I try to look behind to see the jellyfish chasing after me, but I don't have the luxury of slowing down. I finally drop to the ground in desparation after sprinting along the beach for about 300 yards and just decide to give up and let the monster have me. Much to my surprise I don't see anything. I then reach in my pocket and pull out the shells that had been rattling the entire time.
It's a wonderful life
I really believe we as a society have been transformed by movies and TV. These are not bad things, it just goes back to my belief that one of the keys to life is moderation, with anything. So many people are wrapped up in TV shows and movies to escape their own lives. TV shows and movies are not reality. I just really believe too many people see these things and think, "Oh what a great life that would be...my life sucks." Now I watch some movies and a couple TV shows. It's just that I would much rather go out and have a burger, beer and conversation. I said all that to say this, some movies are so real and powerful that there is no other medium that would deliver that impact. I will never forget the first time I saw Titanic and after 3 hours thinking "wow". Not because of the love story, even though that was a good storyline, but because I knew that all really happened. It's a Wonderful Life is my favorite christmas movie by far. Even if it wasn't a christmas movie it would be incredible, just because of the storyline. We all never know what a huge impact we make. He believes he is nothing and has never done anything with his life. He thinks that only if he had made a couple different choices he could've been this amazing person that everyone revered. The gift is that this man gets to see what life would be like without him. He soon realizes what a truly wonderful life he has. His kids wouldn't have been born, people in his life would've taken different paths, and an entire community would've been different. We should all strive for the best life has to offer, but we also need to be thankful for what we have. Most people will never know the true impact they've had on me, simply because most times you can't explain it, it can't be put into words. We are all equal in God's eyes. There is no one in this life that is better than me, consequently there is no one in this life that I am better than. At the end of the movie, the message is simply "No man is a failure that has friends." True family are friends and everyone we meet should be a friend. We should all strive to be a friend a friend would like to have.
Iraq
I always think that the person who will bring peace to the middle east is the one who brings the AC. I'm telling you right now if I lived in a desert in those kind of temperatures, I'd be ready to fight all the time, too. If they had air conditioning and modern amenities I don't think they'd be so quick to get out of that. I know I wouldn't. He may want to go blow up the bus, but as for me, I will stay in the house and play some Wii. The reason the middle east is on my mind is because of the shoe throwing incident. I remember seeing this a couple years ago when they were throwing shoes at the statue of saddam hussein falling and I thought, this is one of the oddest things I've ever seen. That guy just took his shoe off and ran up there and slapped a statue with it, and then celebrated like he just scored a touchdown. Then you had the reporter last week who became a local hero by throwing his shoe at President Bush. You may or may not like his politics, but the man was pretty quick to avoid a shoe. I'm thinking this isn't the first one he's come across. Laura must have given him a little practice. In our culture people throw whatever they can get their hands on... shoes, plates, glasses. Oh, it's to disgrace...with bodily harm. We Americans know how to stick and move, though. I just picture the secret service thinking it was a gun or a bomb and just going crazy, only to realize he had thrown a shoe, and thinking what the?. Apparently, this is a big sign of disgrace in their culture. I'm kind of hoping this makes its way into our culture. I would love to drive down the road and just throw my shoe at the idiot who can't drive. Catch them right during the middle of a text as they're doing 10 miles under the speed limit. That would get expensive though. You go to throw a shoe and are like, "I can't disgrace you today, I've got on gucci's." Or, if you got on boots it would take a lot of work to get out of them. I would forget why I wanted to disgrace them by the time I took them off. Yeah, probably not a good idea, but the next time I'm going to the store with my slip on grass cutting shoes and somebody looks at me wrong and says, "What? Bring it" They're getting a shoe to the face, just to try it, see how humiliated they feel. Then I'll look at them and say, "It's just been broughten."
Being open and happiness
I love going out and having a good time, but if I did this all the time, I wouldn't be a productive member of society. Moderation is the key to everything in life. I have been truly blessed to have people in my life who actually are interested in me. I will never take this for granted and hopefully people know that I'm interested in them. I'm not here to judge. I don't hide who I am or what I've been through in life. Our experiences are what make us real. We all have pasts. When we try to pretend like we've got everything together, we're not fooling anyone but ourselves. My goal is to never make the same mistake twice...no jokes here please, haha. The greatest tool God gave us is our mind. I strive to never stop learning, through books and through life. Some mistakes I don't have to make in life because I've seen the consequences of others. Religion fascinates me. I have read the Bible and the Qur'an. I am a very religous christian, though most people never know that. I do that on purpose. Jesus, not my mexican landscaper friend, but the other one, had a very simple message of love. We are not intended to shove our beliefs down others throats. Because God knows we hate it when others do it to us. In fact, most people do this because they're not confident in what they believe. It's like anyone that walks a different path is wrong. If we see someone happy that's different, we automatically say well they're not truly happy because they're not just like me. We want to be around like minded people so that we feel stronger about what we believe. Our words are meaningless. Our lives are what people see. People aren't dumb, they know genuineness. What I have found is deep down we all seek the same thing, happiness. Some seek it through money and possesions. Some seek it through religion. Some seek it through drugs. Some seek it through relationships. What you will find is that happiness is internal and a choice. I choose to make the best of my situation, no matter what. There is no external source that is going to make us happy. People think if I was only in this situation, I could be happy. With that attitude, you'll always be chasing the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Ask yourself simply, If I'm not happy what can I do to change my situation. In this economy, we all see that money can come and go. If I'm miserable at church maybe I need to re-evaluate what I really believe instead of what I've been told is right and wrong. I have been with someone who was about to stick heroin in his arm and knew that I didn't do it. He looked at me and said, "you're ok with this." I simply said, "I'm not here to condemn you, I know it would feel good for the moment, but I know how hard it would be to control and the consequences of that, so I choose not to do it" He soon stopped and went to rehab because he realized there was another way. Not that the feeling was bad, but it's where it would eventually lead. It wasn't a sustainable life. I don't care whether he stops for good or relapses, it's his life, not mine. In a relationship, instead of thinking what the other person is not doing to make me happy, maybe I should say, what can I do to make the other person happy? Kindness, some calll it karma, always is paid back to us. What amazes me is that people get a woe is me attitude. Like I said, we all have pasts. You will either use it as a crutch your whole life or you'll overcome it. We can't help the cards we're dealt, what we can affect is how we play them. Today will always be the beginning of the rest of your life. Change can take place at any time.
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